Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Now, where was I?

Ah yes, I remember now.

I was wallowing in self pity and trying to write angst ridden poetry. I have learned a lot this past year, not least that I can't write poetry,....... not even close.
I promise not to inflict any more on my loyal readers.

The cause of my absence has not gone away, I have just learned to cope with it a lot better. With the help of good friends and some counseling, I have eventually taken back my life and have reentered the realm of a functioning and feeling person.

I am in London at the moment staying with my friends, Jill and Paul, after having just spent two wonderful weeks with my Dad. He is in great spirits and in remarkable health, despite having had a heart attack last year. Here is the old boy on his new mobility Trike.

Jill and Paul had to go to a funeral yesterday, so I had an unexpected day free. I took the train to Guildford, and set off into the town for a wee explore. It was baking hot, especially in the high street, and very smelly on account of the smog, so I went in search of a nice pub or restaurant to try some local produce. Sadly, the offerings were not that interesting. I made do with a lovely Italian Restaurant called Olivo, with a cool and quiet Patio.

They had a pleasant 2 course fixed price menu, so I took a seat on the empty patio and relaxed with a large glass of Orvieto. I had not been there long, when I was joined on one side by a young Italian family, and a couple from Hong Kong on the other. The twin Italian boys, started taking pop shots at me with their make believe guns, using the cutlery as weapons. Mom and Dad were deep in some loud and heated debate, so were completely oblivious at the outbreak of the 3rd world war. The lady from Hong Kong was becoming irate at the refusal of a table she wanted, despite being clearly labeled as reserved. As she was ushered into the seat closest to me, she swung around with exaggerated annoyance and cracked me over the head with her shoulder bag.
She looked at her bag to check I hadn't damaged it, and then sat down in sullen silence. Not for long though. While I was deflecting incoming missiles from the Italian front, she got up again, spinning around abruptly and cracked me on the shoulder. She looked at me as if I had just shit in her shoes, and proceeded to harangue the waiter who was trying to deliver my lunch. I have no idea what the problem was, but as she was looking at me, I presumed that there was not enough room, in the otherwise empty restaurant, for the two of us ...........so I shot her.

I didn't actually, but I sooooo wanted to.

The waiter kindly offered me another seat, so I decamped at the other end of the Patio, leaving the Italian boys to dispose of her.
The food was OK, but not worth the hassle so I took an early train back to the house, and spent the rest of the afternoon sunning myself in the garden and dreaming about a news report of a massacre in an Italian restaurant.

See you all soon


  1. Chortling here Wally thanks for the laugh this afternoon!
    But mostly thanks for being back with us, I've missed you. I'm very happy to know you're in a better place and if we can look forward to more posts I would be so delighted.
    Big hug.

  2. See if she had whacked me, TWICE, I would certainly have said something to her. Some people are SO rude *fumes on Wally's behalf* ;-D


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